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Boo311
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Name: Tiger
Location: Texas, United States
Birthday: 3/11/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Animals, poems, quotes, umm... i'll get back to this
Expertise: For me? none, but i wanna be a vet and i love tigers and animals. =p
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/3/2003
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| I don't really have a lot to write about this time. I've had a few interesting dreams the past few nights. but for the last 2 or 3, I've had a bad feeling about them, some sort of foreboding, even tho it just seems to happen in my dreams. I don't remember what causes the feeling, or even the majority of the dream, but it's there, lingering, when I wake up.
I also had someone tell me that I'm (I forgot the exact words) strong, willful? I questioned how he could derive such a thing from only knowing me for one day. He said that when he presses his mind against mine, mine presses back. and he also said i tap into other peoples emotions.
It's a bit weird.. and I'm not feeling well, so I'm leaving it at that...
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| I'm not sure why I keep coming back here. Today, I just felt an urge to write something, anything. I find it funny how life has changed; It's become more complicated, yet I'm more open to new ideas and experiences. As a teen, I knew what I didn't want, and what I thought I would never want.
I feel that "Love" is fake, a chemical imbalance, and yet.. I hold out hope that I'm wrong, and that I will be proven wrong. To all my lost friends, I do miss you. I know I'm not the best about keeping in contact, but then again, neither are you, I hope life is good to you.
My job is a complicated love-hate relationship. I love it because it's easy and the manager is awesome, but then again, I work A LOT, I get called in a lot, and have to stay later (or come in earlier) a lot.
I kind of wonder if anybody ever reads this, or just says TL;DR. I've also learned a bit on my way to this point in my life. Maybe stuff that I shouldn't have bothered to learn, but it's there none-the-less.
For tonight, I am content. Tomorrow may be another story. So until I write again, take care
P.S.
Sign this petition and save the tigers, if you can spare, donate.
http://www.wwf.org.uk/how_you_can_help/donate_now/save_the_tiger/
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| It's very rare for me to be so freaked out by a single bug, especially a spider. Today was/is off to a horrible start, Woke up late, having a dream where my other self is telling the half awake me that i set the clock wrong, so of course i didn't wake up on time, woke up 10 minutes late. Of course i hurry to shower and dress, and if i would have left right then, i would have been RIGHT on time (which is actually late for me).
Last night my lawn got mowed, so i went to bed late because i had to wait to put my car inside the gate and lock up. I felt okay and just backed it in (i normally just pull in and back out in the morning). So I grabbed my stuff this morning, opened the passenger side door and put my stuff in and i felt cobwebs. At first, i was like "what the hell and eww," then i look up to my driver side seat........ a spider, overnight, had spun an almost completed web from the driver side door, to the middle of the dashboard (basically from the seat to the dash, so it was at an angle). In the middle of this HUGE web, was this horrible ugly big yellow and black spider! I'm sure I must have shrieked and withdrew from the car.. already tittering on the late line.
If someone had suggested to burn the car, I would not have argued. This thing was 10 times bigger than the normal house spiders. I went over and grabbed my outdoor push broom and figured, i'd swipe out the monster and his web (since it was sitting in the middle of it). I did so, throwing the broom backwards, and i looked around in the grass, and even somewhat tabbed around in the car, and i just could not find it! I would have kept it up, but a semi was pulling into my driveway, (long story short about the semi - I live next to a 10,000 gal. propane tank and that is what it was delivering) and if i didn't pull my car out, I would be trapped in for ATLEAST an hour.
So i suck it up and get in, still looking around the seat/console area for that huge beast and not seeing it, i put it in drive and it starts moving, and i look to my left to make sure the propane truck is waiting for me to pull out i see that huge ugly spider and this time, i know i screamed, and i leapt out of the car, then notice it was still going so i halfway got back in and threw it into park and jumped back out. I hit my leg while getting back in to stop my car, but didn't notice until later that it hurt. I went and got the broom again, and knocked it down from the roof area onto the seat (via the passenger side door), then went back to the driver side and swept it out and away from my car.
Even though it's over, I'm still wigging about it.. it was so big and ew.. Now part of me wanted to take a picture of it, because i'm weird, and it'd show how big it was. The web was so immaculately done, like one you'd see in movies, or pictures, it was quite awesome
http://bugguide.net/node/view/332266 this is what the huge thing looked like, but it's web was better, but the middle was not done yet. If it had been anywhere else but inside my car or home, It would have been fine.. but having to be that close.. is just too much for me.
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| I've been reading a book called Worst Case by James Patterson. Basicly a person is killing people who "don't pass the test." In other words, he is killing off people who are not worthy of living by his set of standards. Of course, since I'm such a .. whatever.. I can see this being plausible. Then again, who's standards would be deemed as right, and who is wrong? I'm more of an animal lover, and I know alot of people that are geared more towards people over animals; then there would be the problem of who would deal it out, killing the unworthy? If it were set to my standards.. hm.. of course the hypocritical killing of the killers, rapists, malicious intended fraud, greedy theft (think ceo fatcats basicly). How can you stop corruption though? While I'm on this grim subject. Every once in a great while nature does it's thing and send out a massive disease and wipes out a good chunk of the population. It seems with technology, that won't happen. The bird flu and the swine flu could have been it, but technology has one up it's attempt. It also seems this year there have been alot of devastating disasters; earthquakes, hurricanes, snow storms.. and who knows what else we'll see. So maybe this is naturals other way of wiping us out. Which is okay by me, even if i were to be one of the harmed. We (people) have done alot of damage to the earth and the earth's animals. If by killing off humans we can save the endangered animals, fine by me. *shurgs* | | |
| I often rant to myself, in my head (hardly ever outloud). So when i come here, most of my anger/resentment has dissipated. It's very hard to recapture it and put it into words on here. Some of my anger is recent, and dealing with a co-worker. She got a week vaction off, i got called-in on sunday when i had LESS THAN 3 HOURS of sleep to work overnight. She is missing yet again, today, so I will be working a 12 or 13 hour shift. (and comming in early when i come in tonight) And of course she'll need her wedding off. The only reason she can afford a wedding is because she's taking advantage of the government. She goes to college and has 3 kids.. so she gets alot of money for that. -.-;; THAT is not the source of my anger though, It is in fact an ex-boyfriend of mine.. Tim... I'm used to promises being broken, but sometimes you come across a person who seems okay, who seems like you can trust him/her. They catch you off guard, but then they are the ones who hurt you the worst. I don't think i'm a very vengeful person, but when it comes to him.. I am so tempted... The random information i collect can be hurtful but I never use it. Address, phone number, Ip address, sordid history/memories; it all can be used maliciously in the wrong hands.. and I know those people who i'd consider being the wrong hands. (I happen to know from personal experience). I did break up with him, he didn't argue against it, because i didn't love him, but i wanted to be friends with him. (when he first asked me out, i said no, because when it ended, we wouldn't be friends. he promised we would be.. so i begrudgingly agreed..... Promise Broken.) He "tired" to be friends, but because I wouldn't go tell the whole world what happened to me at age 15/16 (damn near 10 year ago), he basicly said fuck it. This act alone leads me to believe that we were never really friends. Now, I'll admit, i was a pretty bad girlfriend at first... I flirted with friends (only friends because they know it's in jest) but I was VERY honest and told him. I never did anything bad to harm the relationship. It took his friend, Scott, yelling at me to realize the errors of my ways, so I did try to stop. I also acknowledge that I have a personality flaw, When I am hurt, or w/e, I basicly shut down and don't want to talk about it. If a person keeps persisting, I will ignore them and talk to someone who isn't going to talk about it. Again.. Scott yelled at me, and I tried.. but It's hard to change who you are. Notice how it was never him to correct me, but his friend Scott... -.- I know none of this actually explains the anger that I have.. but.. I think that's all I care to write today. Even though, I'm sure no one else reads this, It's good to get it "out there"..... | | |
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